F You, USPS. Or, My First Wedding Rage Episode.

I finished putting labels on my Save-the-Dates (is there any way to abbreviate that other than STD? The jokes are good, don't get me wrong... but really.) Sunday night, after a fun assembly party on Saturday. I will do a little write-up on that later, it deserves its own post.

I brought all of them to work today, and on my lunch break, went over to the Carol Stream Post Office to buy some fancy stamps and send these bad boys out. I was planning on getting these fairly cute ones that had flowers in the shape of hearts. I talked to someone as I got in line, and they advised that they only had what they had in the cases. So, I had my choice of cats/dogs , flags of the world, wedding cake (but for 64 cents), wedding rings, and one that had a basket of pansies and said 'LOVE' . The first two would be ridiculous, the cake was too much postage, and the rings would have been a little hard-hitting, so the flowers it was. On the bottom of the display, the poster advised to ask for the 'love pansies' stamp. ..... USPS, you may want to rethink this, maybe try a different flower that is not a term for effeminate men.

I waited in line 10 minutes, then told the lady I wanted to buy love pansies stamps. She rolled her eyes, mumbled something about not having them, then rooted around in the back of her drawer, pulled out a tattered large envelope, looked in it, and said "Nope, we don't have those."

WTF?!?! First, I was a little angry because those weren't even the stamps I wanted, and they were ugly. Second, Carol Stream is a very large regional processing center, not some small town post office, so this was surprising. Third, they keep their fancy stamps in a ratty old envelope, in the back of the drawer? Bull - shit. It's way more likely that this person did not want to walk to the back and look for them. And, it's not like they are going to lose a customer, I still gotta get the envelopes sent.

So, I walked away, and went to the machine to get some regular stamps, because I needed to get these mailed. I got them, thinking about how I wanted to rub it in the cashier's face that their job was done better, and more politely, by a machine, and walked over to a counter and started putting them on the envelopes. That's when Bridezilla (can we get a new term for that too? its degrading... I am not a monster! unless you are talking about lady gaga's little monsters, then maybe. how about the wedding crazies? That might be offensive too.... how about... Wedding Rage, the distant, gender-neutral cousin of Road Rage. Yes.) .... That's when the Wedding Rage started.

I started thinking about how angry about the whole situation I was. I had wasted 10 minutes in line, was wasting my lunch break, the stupid lady didn't even offer for me to buy them online or check in the back or anything, and these stamps are fucking hideous shit-colored liberty bells, that ruined the entire envelope! Fuck the liberty bell -- whose idea was it to have that be some great national symbol anyway? I would have preferred a goddamn bald eagle, at least that would have had a little "put a bird on it, its art!" going for it. The liberty bell, is just damn ugly. and broken. it's not even functional!! It's a stupid broken thing that is pointless and just government propaganda to get tourists to shitty Pennsylvania. I was so worked up and angry about this, my hands were shaking peeling the stamps off and sticking them to each previously-beautiful, now ruined, envelope.

After I was done, I threw them in the outgoing box, and walked out. I was still pissed, and conspiring about how I'm going to use UPS or some other courier company to deliver the invites. Who cares if it will cost 20 times as much, the spite is worth it.

Then, rationality returned, and I realized I had just had a wedding rage attack.

Really? Erica? Really? You are upset about stamps? People don't even look at the envelope. It's whole purpose is to take abuse, and protect the super-awesome contents. The recipients rip them, and throw them away. They will look at the stamp for all of a second, and then open it, and smile at the really great mini-piece of arts and crafts inside, and throw the envelope away.

Lessons?? I will use the post office for the invites, but order the stamps I want online, so I have them ahead of time. This is a taste of my gut reactions to wedding adversity, and it's really not pleasant. I didn't lash out or anything, but it was close. I guess it's good to know what wedding rage feels like, so the proper cooling down/rationalizing process can happen next time, before there are regrettable decisions made, or actions taken. I can also laugh about it afterwards. It's all part of the process and bridal experience.