I understand that every wedding is different, and thus go through different processes, so not everyone will have these experiences. But, for me and my wedding planning, here are the things (so far) that have taken me by surprise, that I wish I would have been a little better prepared-for. Also, for the most part, all of the "I"s are assuming that the bride does all of this (for ease of writing) -- the groom also has a big part too.
1 -- You will need to make a staggering amount of decisions. Small decisions, big decisions. More small than big, but man, do they add up. Even fairly meaningless ones like "Which salad dressings? What kind of chairs do I want at the ceremony? How about the reception?" add up, and become exhausting. Setting up a registry, picking out music, picking out vendors, location, colors, theme, shoes, food, bridal party members, their wardrobe, etc. Wedding planning is nothing but a string of making decisions, and it gets tiring. Maybe I have a lack of endurance from being naturally ambivalent, and having a career that is essentially making a lot of small decisions. Either way, that is one thing I am looking forward to having done.
2 -- Everyone has opinions about weddings, and you hear a lot of them, especially with a long engagement.
3 -- There is an endless to-do list. I exacerbate it by coming up with little projects for myself here and there, but even then -- there is always something that needs to get taken care of. Hopefully I can get it all done by Jan 14. But, if I don't, then I don't, and we get married anyhow.
4 -- The outpouring of generosity that comes your way is overwhelming. I get very emotional when I think about everyone that is going out of their way to do all of these things, for me and matt. it's incredible, and humbling, and pretty much the greatest feeling in the world. I was not prepared for this at all.
5 -- Wedding shit (DIY things, paperwork, gifts) will take over your house. I've bought a number of plastic totes to try to keep things together, and they are filling up all of my livingroom space, and now migrating to the basement. its temporary, but still -- it's a lot of clutter.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
I should be breaking these down into smaller blog posts, but there are almost too many things I want to document, that unless I did this daily, there would be multiple blog posts every day, and that would be as unwieldy as the long blogs I'm doing now.
1 -- Invites -- I met up with Keri briefly last weekend, and got a finished invitation.. I cried! They are so beautiful, and so much love has gone into them, I am incredibly lucky and humbled. Soon, they will be making their way out into the world. And yes, I already have stamps for them, that I picked out. The choices for .64 stamps are abysmal, however. A wedding cake, a monarch butterfly, and a dolphin. I'll keep you in suspense as to which ones I bought.
2 -- Menu -- we had our menu tasting this week.... the food was OK. Not bad, not great. The cakes were... dated. I am not going to bash a vendor that we chose (unless there is bad service or something like that), but the choice for the wedding cakes was all out of 1988.... lots of columns, flowers, and a lot of cakes with a fountain in the middle of them, inexplicably. We could have gone to a different bakery, but the cake is already included in our package, so we will make do. It's not super important to me anyway,,,, you take 3 pictures with it, cut it up, then it's served to people who feel obligated to eat it. Overall, the food is one thing I know we are sacrificing on to keep our budget. We could have done better food, but then we wouldn't be able to afford as many people, and I think having the people that you want there is more important and more memorable than being able to provide a high-class meal for a few. Nothing we chose is offensively bad, so that's good.
This was another situation where there was major decision fatigue. Appetizer/soup/salad/dressings for the salad/entree/side/desserts/cake flavor/icing/cake design plus some other ones is a lot to decide in an hour! At the end, I really didn't care what 2 salad dressings we were giving to people, or if we wanted fruit for the chocolate fountain, or what kind of wine to serve with dinner. Oy. I know there will be other things like this, and I suppose it's a good will-power strength building exercise.
3 -- I can. not. wait for tomorrow -- party x 3! Bridal shower, mom-bachelorette party, and then bachelorette party. Again, I'm incredibly humbled that people are doing all of these things for me, and this is cliche, but I am definitely feeling lots of love around me, which is incredibly wonderful and ... almost indescribable.
1 -- Invites -- I met up with Keri briefly last weekend, and got a finished invitation.. I cried! They are so beautiful, and so much love has gone into them, I am incredibly lucky and humbled. Soon, they will be making their way out into the world. And yes, I already have stamps for them, that I picked out. The choices for .64 stamps are abysmal, however. A wedding cake, a monarch butterfly, and a dolphin. I'll keep you in suspense as to which ones I bought.
2 -- Menu -- we had our menu tasting this week.... the food was OK. Not bad, not great. The cakes were... dated. I am not going to bash a vendor that we chose (unless there is bad service or something like that), but the choice for the wedding cakes was all out of 1988.... lots of columns, flowers, and a lot of cakes with a fountain in the middle of them, inexplicably. We could have gone to a different bakery, but the cake is already included in our package, so we will make do. It's not super important to me anyway,,,, you take 3 pictures with it, cut it up, then it's served to people who feel obligated to eat it. Overall, the food is one thing I know we are sacrificing on to keep our budget. We could have done better food, but then we wouldn't be able to afford as many people, and I think having the people that you want there is more important and more memorable than being able to provide a high-class meal for a few. Nothing we chose is offensively bad, so that's good.
This was another situation where there was major decision fatigue. Appetizer/soup/salad/dressings for the salad/entree/side/desserts/cake flavor/icing/cake design plus some other ones is a lot to decide in an hour! At the end, I really didn't care what 2 salad dressings we were giving to people, or if we wanted fruit for the chocolate fountain, or what kind of wine to serve with dinner. Oy. I know there will be other things like this, and I suppose it's a good will-power strength building exercise.
3 -- I can. not. wait for tomorrow -- party x 3! Bridal shower, mom-bachelorette party, and then bachelorette party. Again, I'm incredibly humbled that people are doing all of these things for me, and this is cliche, but I am definitely feeling lots of love around me, which is incredibly wonderful and ... almost indescribable.
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