so, um, im getting married today!!

One last post before I get caught up in the whirlwind of hair/makeup/dress/flowers/pictures/hugs/kisses/wedding/toasts/dance/happy..... I feel like I should feel more excited about this, I'm not really feeling too stereotypically "bridal".  For the last 3 days or so, after I dropped off all of the decorations to the hotel and settled bills Weds PM, I've been feeling serene, calm, and happy.   There are a few things that went wrong in the last few days, and I expect a few things to go bad today, but that's ok.

The rehearsal went extremely well yesterday, we met with our celebrant earlier, ironed out some details, then had the bridal party come later, ran through it, i had handouts ( a MASTER SCHEDULE for this weekend, and a list of escorters/escortees), then we had a relaxed dinner at a local bar and grill.  everything went very, very very well.  It's sorta funny, for dinner we went to a place that is known for their chicken wings, i had fried shrimp and fries, and the place gave me and Matt a huge slice of chocolate cake as a congrats (which, we shared) -- normally, the last thing a bride/bridesmaids want to eat the night before a wedding is a shitload of greasy fried food and chocolate cake.    ha.

One more thing -- SO, the initial weather forecast was wrong!!!  We got like 5" of snow on Thurs, which is our first major snowstorm this year.  Everything is OK now,  roads are clear etc, but man!  For the last 2 weeks its been in the 40s and 50s, and then 2 days before our wedding, it decides to suddenly become January.  sigh.  It will make for some very nice pictures though, and it will be proof that we did have a winter wedding, AND, most importantly, my rep from MA made it in on her flight Thurs afternoon. 

Alll right, its about time to start this thing.  To those who are coming today, I cannot wait to see you and celebrate with you; to those who are not, please know that I regret having to limit our guest list, and your well-wishes mean a lot to both Matt and me. 

LETS DO THIS.  (wooooo!!!)

wow.

This last month has absolutely flown by.  I am now in the middle of complete wedding craziness, trying to get everything done, but in a week from today, we will be packing up everything to leave the hotel, saying goodbyes and thank yous to everyone, and it will all be over.  A large part of me is looking forward to this, I have so many other things that I want to do that have been put on the back burner, and the stress wont be missed.  On the other hand, I have been engaged for a long time, and I really do enjoy looking at and getting inspired by wedding blogs, and I will miss that terribly. 

The weather forecast is in, and I have to give a huge thank you to global warming.  It's been near 50 here for almost the past week, and although it will be cooler, it will be around 30 and sunny.  No snow!!!!!  No extreme cold!!!!!  Perfect, it is all I could have asked for.

Our guest total is 96 (incl vendors), out of 153 invited.  Not bad, esp since I heavily padded the invite list with dates for everyone.  18% vegetarian, also not bad!

We met with the hotel coordinator, and finalized everything last Friday.  There were some things that I was not expecting, like that we are only getting half of the ballroom for our ceremony.  I think this will actually work out better, because everyone will be close , and it will be very intimate.  However, it cut the length of the aisle by half.  I am disappointed about that, but I have made my peace, and just adjusted the musical selection.  We also had some last minute budget issues, but those are now solved... some things have been cut, but honestly, nobody will miss them and it eliminates a lot of work for me.

Yesterday I went to Chicago, and worked on the place cards with Ms Harvey -- they are really, really fantastic.  The programs and table numbers are in production, and then all paper goods will be all set!  Ms Jones is making some amazing cake toppers, and my dad finished the vases for the tables, and I got a lovely hair comb in the mail from Mia this week too!  I don't know how to express the amount of gratitude to everybody who has shown generosity towards Matt and I - I owe a lot of people some big, big favors.

We also got our marriage license on Friday, so now it can be official!!  I feel extremely adult having one in my possession, it's a pretty big step. 

6 more days!

RSVP due date

So, our RSVP due date has come and gone, and we received roughly 70% of the RSVPs, counting invites that went out, not people.  Not bad! For total number of people, we currently have a 43% acceptance rate.  T,his does not take out those who have not responded.  This is a little bit low, but I had purposefully padded the number of potential guests by including dates for everyone over 18, and for including everybody's kids, even infants, which, looking at it now, does not make sense at all.  This way we knew that we could accommodate everybody, even a few "crashers" if need be.  So, there will be a little bit of tracking people down over the holidays, but not too much.  I also need to remember to add the vendors onto the list of people so they get fed, but that is not a big deal... I think it will be just the photogs and DJ.


I got my dress back Tues night from the seamstress... this is really exciting!  I will probably have to get it re-steamed a day or two before, but that is not a big deal.  We also got our wedding rings today -- need to make absolutely sure they fit, and then we are all set!  I chose a tungsten carbide set -- its got a neat darker look to it, and it is one of the only jewelry metals that is stronger than steel (we use it at work to cut steel, ha), so it won't get dinged up when I'm handling our parts.  I also booked our hair and makeup appointments, and bought a veil, but i'm not committed to wearing it, yet.  Veils are crazy expensive!  I bought a cheap-o one from Amazon, which should work just fine.  I think im going to get a sparkly hairpin as well, just for some visual interest.

After tomorrow, I have 10! whole days off of work, during which I am determined to knock shit off of my crafts list, mainly (goddamn) pomanders ( i am now calling them hate-manders, because they are taking way longer than anticipated, but i am too invested at this point to give up and think of a better ceremony decoration), votives, and pictures.  I also need to order my favors, and we are meeting with the DJ on Tuesday, so I have to have all special songs gathered and burned onto CDs.     I had the realization today that when we come back to work, I will have 2 4-day weeks, and then the wedding.... that is soooo soon!  But, things are really truly starting to pick up steam and all come together, and I am enjoying it.

AarrRRAgggh!

WHHAAAA!!!  It is less! than! a! month!!! until our freaking wedding.  AND AND, in about a month EXACTLY, Matt and I will be on a plane to Hong Kong.   holy crap.    For the last two weeks or so, every time I need to look at a calendar has caused a small, but increasing panic.

Again, as I say on almost every blog post, I haven't posted in a while, so this is going to be long and unmanageable.  If I had like, 3 more hours per day, then I would do this more often.  And, now that things are piling up, I am doing more, blogging less.  This includes reading wedding blogs as well.  Pretty much everything that I need to find "inspiration" for have been decided, so no more excuses for lazy Sunday mornings with coffee and wedding blogs.  Dang.  I am looking forward to having much, much much more spare time though, after this whole wedding thing is done with.   I will have time to read, cook, clean more, update the house, etc.

1 --  One last thing that nobody tells you about wedding-planning is that getting back RSVPs is awesome!!  It's so much fun to see your envelopes in the mail, and each has a little mystery -- who is it from? are they coming? bringing a date?? It's sorta like getting Christmas cards, but without the holiday schmaltz.  Seriously awesome.

2 -- This Friday, my office threw me a shower!  It was a complete surprise, and was super-sweet.  It adds to my humility caused by how generous and loving everyone around me is.  We had Little Caesar's pizza (one of my many guilty pleasures), soda, and gift-opening in the conference room for lunch, and it was perfect.  Even the ruse to keep me away from my desk by scheduling an 11:45 meeting in the plant office was executed perfectly, and nobody complained about my persistent pouting over having lunchtime meetings on a Friday.  ha.

3 -- I found out earlier this week that my seamstress is having knee surgery this week, and needed to have me in this weekend.  I panicked a little, thinking of who I could have with me to lear n the bustle.  luckily, ms jones was available.  the dress still fits (yay), is now at the proper length, and, the bust fits amazingly because the seamstress was able to work a miracle with a piece of thread to gather the very top.  And, most importantly, the bustle is going to be extreeemely simple!  just two loops , one button.  thats it.  i have heard horror stories about extremely complicated and unwieldy bustles, and i'm incredibly relieved that this one should be just fine.

4 -- Afterwards, steph came over and helped me pick out ceremony music.  I was having issues with this before... other than the typical "wedding" songs, my knowledge of orchestral music is kinda limited, and i didnt want to choose something overly trite that has no meaning to me.  Although, I think the ceremony music is important at the time, it is something that nobody remembers.  We ended up finding some fantastic songs though, and I am super-happy with how it will work out.  Now, finding a mother:son / father:daughter dance....

5 -- Saturday, my mom, Matt's mom and I went dress-shopping for them.  They both found beautiful dresses!  I am really excited for them.  We picked out some jewelry as well, and got ties for the groomsmen and Matt, so everyone should be outfitted now.  wooo!

6 -- I have table decs figured out, supplies purchased, now just need to assemble them.  I will do that as soon as I get done  with the ceremony decorations, which are taking for-ever.   After this week though, I have 10 days off of work, so I can knock all of that out.  After that, I have my pictures project, plus working with vendors to finalize everything, buying jewelry for me, buying wedding rings, and then that should pretty much be it.  Things are very quickly wrapping up, it is a little overwhelming.

Soon, soon... it will all be over, and we will be on our way to CHINAAAAAA!!

Things nobody tells you about wedding planning (or, things that I haven't heard, anyhow)

I understand that every wedding is different, and thus go through different processes, so not everyone will have these experiences.  But, for me and my wedding planning, here are the things (so far) that have taken me by surprise, that I wish I would have been a little better prepared-for.  Also, for the most part, all of the "I"s are assuming that the bride does all of this (for ease of writing) -- the groom also has a big part too.

1 -- You will need to make a staggering amount of decisions. Small decisions, big decisions.  More small than big, but man, do they add up.  Even fairly meaningless ones like "Which salad dressings?  What kind of chairs do I want at the ceremony?  How about the reception?"   add up, and become exhausting.  Setting up a registry, picking out music, picking out vendors, location, colors, theme, shoes,  food, bridal party members, their wardrobe, etc.  Wedding planning is nothing but a string of making decisions, and it gets tiring.   Maybe I have a lack of endurance from being naturally ambivalent, and having a career that is essentially making a lot of small decisions.  Either way, that is one thing I am looking forward to having done.

2 -- Everyone has opinions about weddings, and you hear a lot of them, especially with a long engagement.

3 -- There is an endless to-do list.  I exacerbate it by coming up with little projects for myself here and there, but even then -- there is always something that needs to get taken care of.  Hopefully I can get it all done by Jan 14.  But, if I don't, then I don't, and we get married anyhow.

4 -- The outpouring of generosity that comes your way is overwhelming.  I get very emotional when I think about everyone that is going out of their way to do all of these things, for me and matt.  it's incredible, and humbling, and pretty much the greatest feeling in the world.  I was not prepared for this at all.

5 -- Wedding shit (DIY things, paperwork, gifts) will take over your house.  I've bought a number of plastic totes to try to keep things together, and they are filling up all of my livingroom space, and now migrating to the basement.  its temporary, but still -- it's a lot of clutter.

I should be breaking these down into smaller blog posts, but there are almost too many things I want to document, that unless I did this daily, there would be multiple blog posts every day, and that would be as unwieldy as the long blogs I'm doing now. 

1 -- Invites -- I met up with Keri briefly last weekend, and got a finished invitation.. I cried!  They are so beautiful, and so much love has gone into them, I am incredibly lucky and humbled.  Soon, they will be making their way out into the world.  And yes, I already have stamps for them, that I picked out.  The choices for .64 stamps are abysmal, however.  A wedding cake, a monarch butterfly, and a dolphin.  I'll keep you in suspense as to which ones I bought.

2 -- Menu -- we had our menu tasting this week.... the food was OK.  Not bad, not great.  The cakes were... dated.  I am not going to bash a vendor that we chose (unless there is bad service or something like that), but the choice for the wedding cakes was all out of 1988.... lots of columns, flowers, and a lot of cakes with a fountain in the middle of them, inexplicably.  We could have gone to a different bakery, but the cake is already included in our package, so we will make do.  It's not super important to me anyway,,,, you take 3 pictures with it, cut it up, then it's served to people who feel obligated to eat it.   Overall, the food is one thing I know we are sacrificing on to keep our budget.   We could have done better food, but then we wouldn't be able to afford as many people, and I think having the people that you want there is more important and more memorable than being able to provide a high-class meal for a few.  Nothing we chose is offensively bad, so that's good.

This was another situation where there was major decision fatigue.  Appetizer/soup/salad/dressings for the salad/entree/side/desserts/cake flavor/icing/cake design plus some other ones is a lot to decide in an hour!  At the end, I really didn't care what 2 salad dressings we were giving to people, or if we wanted fruit for the chocolate fountain, or what kind of wine to serve with dinner.  Oy.  I know there will be other things like this, and I suppose it's a good will-power strength building exercise.

3 -- I can. not. wait for tomorrow -- party x 3! Bridal shower, mom-bachelorette party, and then bachelorette party.  Again, I'm incredibly humbled that people are doing all of these things for me, and this is cliche, but I am definitely feeling lots of love around me, which is incredibly wonderful and ... almost indescribable. 

slacking off...

I went from posting every week, to every two weeks, and now to every month.  I think there is an inverse ratio between planning and blogging... the more things i actually do, the less I blog about it.  And wowza, there is a lot to do.  I am getting to the point where we can almost count down in weeks, and it's both exciting and nervewracking.  I have something going on every weekend in November already, and then it's December, and that will fly by, and then BAM.  Wedding time!    A review of what 's been done already.

1 -- Invitations!  I gave final approval last night, and they are being printed right now!  The RSVP cards still need some finishing touches (such as entree choices, and we are scheduling a tasting for next week, then those will be done).  They are absolutely beautiful.  And, they are silkscreened.  How awesome is that?!?  I cannot wait to see what they look like in person.  Ms Harvey is extremely talented, and generous to do all of this for me.  I cannot say enough about how much she's helped me out.

2 -- Honeymoon!  All flights and hotels have been booked.  We are doing 3 days in Hong Kong, 2 days in Chengdu, and 4 days in Beijing.  I can't wait to get back , I already have a list of foods that are 'must-eat'.  Matt is also excited, he has gone haywire immersing himself into Chinese language and culture.. although he annoys me sometimes by insisting that I brush up on my Mandarin skills (the pathetically small amount that I've retained), the research he's done is impressive.

3 -- Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party/Registry Building -- The girls are throwing one in a few weeks, so Matt and I decided to register at two brick-and-mortar stores, in addition to our Amazon registry.  That was not too bad, Matt had quite a bit of constructive input too.  It's really exhausting, though.  After a while, it's hard to make any more decisions on , anything.  Colors/textures/brands/do we need this/ etc.  I feel stupid complaining about it ("Oh goooodddd,,,,,, its soooo haaarrrrdddd to pick out things for others to buy for me, how can i dooo iiitttt......"), but it really is tiring.  I'm happy I live in an age where I can add things online, from anywhere.  If I had to go to the stores physically each time, then,,,,yeah.  I would have a lot fewer choices.   Anyhow -- I am not someone who likes to be the center of attention, and I especially hate opening gifts in front of others (Seriously, I cannot control my facial expressions!  Any hint of disappointment, disgust, or negativity shows up.), but I realize that it's sorta my turn to go through this.  And, it's a small price to pay to get to see a lot of people that I really love and appreciate at once.  I can work up tears just thinking about this, I am going to be a mofo wreck when it actually happens.

Those are the main ones... we are still working on music and centerpieces, and have started work on Chinese visas and rehearsal plans.  We also need to get the men's fashion lined up too, very soon.